Just be in the present…Easy right? How hard could it actually be?
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
— Buddha
Just be in the present…easy right? How hard could it actually be to stay right here, right now?…
Well, the thing is… its easy enough to shift into the present moment simply by thinking about where you are right now and how you feel in that environment. However, the trick is learning how to stay there longer and feel comfortable enjoying and valuing the time you spend in the present.
Our beautiful human brain find many reasons to travel back into the past (the place of familiarity) or move into future scenarios that we would like to see for ourselves (where dreams, desires, hope sits). Let’s look at that first to see what that is really doing for us and how that is leaving us feeling.
When we get pulled into the past, we are really seeking comfort from what we know we did and therefore survived experiencing. Its safe there. It is known and can’t be changed and that feels like certainty. We likely learned something from it then and developed a tactic to short-cut us for a similar future event that may come up. We can see our accomplishments in looking back, we can remember our growth from those experiences, we can feel confident in how far we came and we can see how much we are capable of conquering when we are faced with challenges. We can feel good about the gains of what we did. Now there is a dark side. There always is a dark side unfortunately. The people who look back and find reasons to stay and live there, well, they get trapped in a situation of feeling that was the peak of their lives. That was the safest place they will ever be and that may keep a person securely settled in the past. This is often why people feel depressed and lonely.
I knew a landlord once who owned the house my son and I lived in. Rob my landlord, lived in the basement suite of his house while we lived upstairs. I got to know him years ago and when he was in his 30s. He had a 1980 Corvette, nice car. He had a big wood framed waterbed with mirrors and padded headboard, he had feathered hair and a Tom Selleck mustache. He even wore incredibly uncomfortably tight 80’s jeans. So the year at that time was 1998. He was trapped in living in the past. Something about that was comforting to him.
When we get pulled into the future, often its to goal set and plan for opportunities that take time to bring into fruition. When we need to work towards an education, plan for a wedding that is a year away, take a vacation, decide on a business venture; these all require future goals and planning. Being pulled into the future are necessary and good for the growth of our lives. But we also could so often lean too much in this direction that it will leave us forever shooting for the future that will feel like an Oasis in a desert. When we get closer, the illusion moves a bit further out of reach. Goal setting and never accomplishing is a real place people find themselves too. In fact, living in this future place, leaves us anxious and unsure and feels like we are always behind, unfulfilled, unsafe and eventually exhausted. Living in the gap space of having had before and wanting more.
So how we learn to be and stay more present is a practice like anything else. We choose to eat healthy, we practice that, we look to become fit, we practice that, we look to meditate or do yoga, we practice that too. It is not a one and done scenario folks. It is a practice for ever… but love that.
Steps to implement immediately for fast results in being present:
Affirmations that you create for you: These will remove blocks, release resistance & create joy. Say them out loud, keep updating what they are over time, use ones you like, then add in ones you make for yourself (eg. I start my day with positive thoughts & energy, people support me, I am energized & inspired, I bring joy to others, I am grateful and live in abundance).
Deep breaths and Meditation: while doing this in whatever style you like (I do TM) do a body scan to identify where you are holding tension, then release that too.
Journaling: this is really the best way for you to connect with your subconscious thoughts and gain clarity about what your subconscious wants you to know and do. 95% of our actions are driven by the subconscious mind. The brain dump here is powerful and when written “old style” it is valuable to look back at later for insight. Also, it stops all the ruminating that we tend to do over stuff we are not working through. Brain Dump. I’m sure you will love this as I do.
Visualize your perfect life. Your dream life. Your future one year from now if the sky was the limit and you dreamed BIG: see it and feel it and taste it and wrap yourself in it every day. The brain is easily faked into what it sees as a reality. Make your future self feel like your real life. Smile, celebrate, share it with others. Get goosebumps excited for it is coming.
Go for walks out in the world: if nature is nearby, do that. If it isn’t for you, do a walk in your neighborhood and better still, smile at people, say hello, pet a dog, open a door for someone, ask about a book someone is carrying, notice the buds on trees, the breeze on your face and the changes to your city. Connect with your community. Be Present!
Yoga: Keeps you present minded and incorporates breath work. This will connect you to mind, body and spirit. You are feeling everything. Resistance in the body is noticed, your mind is focused instantly to this present moment. Your mind lets go of worry, ruminating thoughts and disturbances you carry. Enhance engagement and improve acceptance.
So now that we have a great way to start to make change for moving you more into the present, I really want to make sure that you understand that there are some roadblocks to making change. Here is what to expect. We find ways to sabotage our efforts when we are stepping outside the comfort zone, we live in. So, what I know will likely happen, I can prepare you for and that way you can plan to be offensive in your approach.
The first day or even week that you begin a new practice, it feels Unbearable. This is just the psychology around habits and rewiring our brain to accept new habits. The key is to keep at it and push past it just knowing that that will calm down. Have grace with yourself and feel good about how brave and rewarding this step is for you. You want better and now you are showing that you are worth more. In week two this new start to your routine will become simply Uncomfortable. I know what your thinking… that doesn’t sound good either, right? Ok, so then simply stay focused on the new habit forming in this uncomfortable place. You can feel a new habit and routine has begun to take hold. You feel more focused and find improvement in your day at this point. You’re climbing the hill of change and you’re sticking with it to get to the top and shout out success. So week three is the beautiful place of Unbeatable… yes… Unbeatable. This is the moment that you feel excited to wake up and get to your new routine. Your focused on getting the day started in the right way, with power, confidence, growth and remaining present enjoying everything about your life. You Can’t change the past, so you are not trying to. You can’t be so far in the future that that feels like you’re often missing out on things currently happening in your life.
Actually, at this point in this practice of being more Present, you wouldn’t dream of time traveling anywhere. Your life is happening with or without you and right now you choose to be in it, not away from it or avoiding it. The steps I listed out for you are a commitment, an opportunity to change what you currently have going on and give you more control over the life you now live. Tools. That is all it is.
Coaching will be a great way for accountability and support. A life Coach is a provider of tools and strategies and insights. We often don't know where to start and what step to take, but a coach is able to shine the light for you and provide a partnership to get you going. Reach out and get a clarity call for yourself. Lets determine what you could do immediately to make change.
