Green growth of plant in forefront, person in light in distance.

Capacity Belief: You say you want more - but can you hold it?

July 01, 20253 min read

“If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning” - Gandhi

Capacity Belief: You Say You Want More — But Can You Hold It?

Why nervous system regulation, not just strategy, is the real key to lasting personal growth.

We live in a culture obsessed with more:

  • More clients

  • More money

  • More followers

  • More love

  • More time

We set goals. We make vision boards. We whisper affirmations to our mirrors.

And yet—we often don’t get the "more" we say we want. Or worse, we do get it... and suddenly feel overwhelmed, frozen, or disconnected.

Why?

Because we rarely ask ourselves the deeper question:

"Can I actually hold what I'm asking for?"

That question lives at the heart of what I call Capacity Belief.

Not just believing it's possible... but knowing—in your body, your nervous system, your energy—that you can receive it, hold it, nurture it, and sustain it. Without self-abandoning, over-functioning, or burning out.

Strategy Isn’t the Problem. Safety Is.

Let’s be real: you probably know what to do. You’ve taken the courses, downloaded the PDFs, maybe even color-coded your calendar.

But still, something in you hesitates. You procrastinate, distract, or spiral in self-doubt.

That hesitation isn’t laziness or lack of discipline.

It’s your nervous system doing exactly what it's wired to do: Keep you safe.

Your Body Remembers What Your Mind Tries to Override

You want visibility, but your body remembers rejection. You want money, but your body associates success with burnout or judgment. You want love, but your body flinches because love once meant pain.

These patterns live not just in your thoughts—they live in your tissues, your posture, your breath.

So when "more" finally arrives, your system may respond like it's a threat.

You Will Only Rise to the Level Your Nervous System Feels Safe With

This is why self-sabotage happens. Not because you don't want change. But because you were never taught how to feel safe with change.

Expansion can feel like exposure when your body hasn’t been taught safety. So we shrink. Delay. Buffer. And tell ourselves stories like:

  • “I just need to be more organized.”

  • “Maybe next year.”

  • “It’s not the right time.”

But here’s the truth: If your system doesn’t feel safe with more… it will block it.

So What Does It Mean to Build Capacity?

It’s not about working harder. It’s not about being better. It’s not even about confidence.

Capacity is about being able to receive without bracing.

  • Grow without breaking

  • Feel big emotions without shutting down

  • Hold success without guilt

  • Speak up without collapsing

It means:

  • Staying present in joy and discomfort

  • Tending to the part of you that panics, not punishing her

  • Rebuilding self-trust, one breath at a time

Start Here: Gentle Questions for Deep Truth

Pause. Breathe. Get still. Then ask:

  • Where am I asking for more… but not preparing to receive it?

  • What do I say I want, but secretly feel terrified of holding?

  • What has my body learned about "success" that causes resistance?

  • Do I have space—in my life, mind, and body—for the thing I keep asking for?

  • What would it feel like—not just think like—to be safe with more?

Let the answers rise slowly. They don’t need to be rushed.

Final Thought: You’re Not Broken. You’re Expanding.

If you’ve felt like you keep bumping up against an invisible glass ceiling—this is likely why.

Your system isn’t broken. It’s protective. And you can build capacity.

Not through hustle. Not through grinding. But through regulation, alignment, and self-trust.

So the next time you say, “I want more,” also ask: "Can I hold it when it comes?"

And if the answer is "not yet"—that’s okay.

It’s not a flaw. It’s an invitation.

Want support expanding your capacity? Book a free Clarity Call with me to explore what that next chapter could look like.

[CTA Button: Book Your Free Clarity Call →]

Sherry Olsen is the Founder/Life Coach at LILY Coaching and is a Registered Massage Therapist. She has been in health care for more than two decades and is passionate about her career.

Sherry Olsen

Sherry Olsen is the Founder/Life Coach at LILY Coaching and is a Registered Massage Therapist. She has been in health care for more than two decades and is passionate about her career.

LinkedIn logo icon
Instagram logo icon
Youtube logo icon
Back to Blog